Dear Mom,

Well it has been two years to the day since I last saw you. I thought I would get you up to date on what has happened since we parted ways. That night Rebekah, Lane and I went to see a John Cusak movie High Fidelity. It was a good movie, but mainly it was a welcomed distraction from you leaving.

Since then, Rebekah and I had a beautiful son named Zacharias. He was somewhat a shock because we were under the impression that we were having a girl. She would have been that granddaughter that you had asked for so many times. Thinking that it was a girl, Rebekah had removed all the tags off the pink clothes and washed them. We had a name picked out for her and it was Zoë Rose after you.

While she was pregnant, we had a home built for us. The home was not ready to move into before she had him, so he came home to the same house I did when I was a baby. As you know, he was the fourth generation of our family to live in that house. We moved into our new home a few months later and we are just starting to get settled in there now. We finally have grass and the other home improvements are moving right along as well.

Zacharias is 14 months now. He is one of the greatest things, if not the greatest thing that has ever happen in my life. His smile radiates love and it forces one to smile in kind. He is walking now, well kinda anyway. He walk with his hands in the air for balance, which is a good thing, but then he gets a bit excited and starts to go to fast and then boom he falls on his face. He gets right back up and starts all over again. I think I am going to have to get my heart checked out soon from it constantly jumping seeing the falls and near misses of going head first into everything.

I know that you would love him if you could meet him. When I see him smile it fills my heart with happiness, but sometimes it fills with sadness that you didn’t get a chance to hold him and feel his radiant smile. I had thought many times to take him to where you are supposed to be, but I never did until two weeks ago. He and I sat next to your name and hoped you could see us. I am sure he wondered why dad took him to a place with all these stones that had no toys to play with. He seemed to understand that this was not a place to play, so he sat and quietly played with the loose blades of grass and occasionally touched your name as to say hi to you. When we had to leave, it was like saying goodbye all over again. I know that you leaving was for the best but that does not make it any easier for me to live with.

Well I have to go and get some things done. I wish that you had an address that I could send this to get reply back but I know you are next to me reading what I had wrote so that is not necessary. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking on the two-year anniversary of your passing away.

Written by Lanis

Monday, April 08, 2002